[Ann]

Hi MG

I am bringing this one back up. I read almost everything you post on this board, and don't always reply because often your post speaks for itself and offers valuable information that I print out and accept but don't feel a need to respond to at that particular time.

Well, I have noticed lately that I am "triggered" when I least expect it. My recovery is going well and my son, who is a recovering crack addict, is doing well in his own recovery. Without becoming complacent, this is a time when I can relax and think more clearly about recovery and my life. Yet, out of the blue, I will see a person, or drive by a place, or even hear mention of a particular area that was associated with my son's addiction and react with a huge adrenaline surge and almost have a panic attack.

In the worst time with my codependency, I have been to many terrible neighbourhoods, have been by the crack houses, even went up to the door and threatened to kick it in if they didn't get my son and send him out (you gotta know that this kind of action is totally out of character for me - I am a middleage "lady" with nice manners and no self-defence training) and I placed myself in a lot of scary situations.

I remember them clearly, I have thought about them and how stupid and dangerous they were, and have been grateful that those experiences are over, so "flashback" wouldn't describe them.

But once in a while, something triggers the bad memory again, and I react physically. I have learned to not leave myself in the "trigger" situation for long, but wonder why this still happens. It is as if my body knows before my mind.

And what do you do with a "trigger"?