It's hard when you think you're working with someone who really wants it, then poof ... their gone. Certainly have had my share too.
Maybe your sponsor & mom have a point, but I don't know. To me, Chapter 7 has all the answers as to how & when though.
I've read enough of you in the short time I've been here, to know your genuine Andy ... so don't get down on yourself.
I see it like this, you had the opportunity to plant some seeds. Find some comfort in that. You know how this stuff works ... about the time you find yourself questioning or wondering, God brings another opportunity.
Hang in my friend and don't get down. Give Chapter 7 a re-read when you have a chance. If you're anything like me, it'll help get your mind & heart centered again and ready for that next opportunity.