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Old 02-11-2009, 07:58 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
guiab
AKA 'grewupinabarn'
 
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 471
I have read one reasonable criticism of these roles: they are not unique to alcoholic families, or even those struggling with any addiction, as they exist in all families, with or without addiction and/or trauma.
I think there is some truth to this, but in families struggling with addiction the roles become fine tuned to respond to the needs of the addict, and the addict's fundamental need is to stay addicted. So what is normally nature/God's way of making lots of different and interesting people becomes a set of roles that only function well in response to addiction. There lies the problem - how make one's role and one's strengths/weaknesses function in normal society, responding to normal ups and downs in a manner that is at least approximately, at-least-in-the-ballpark, sane.
For me my brain is still working and responding like it did all those years ago. But at least I can see what is going on and that is progress.
Here's progress: I missed the last few al-anon meetings last week because of various excuses, and last night they said they were worried about me. And these are people against whom I still harbor little expectations, resentments and distrust! I feel a little less lost.
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