:bemine
All this week my heart has just been aching. I feel so many emotions, sad, angry, hurt, confused, lonely, frustrated. I wish more people in my life would call me and care about me. I tried reaching out to people the other day but they just were too busy. They either told me to call them back or just didnt answer. Even my boyfriend has been too occupied for me and that is unusual. I have been locking myself away in my room. I dont want to bother anyone with my irrational emotions. I have never felt lonlier in my life. Or I think I did, but somehow I just dealt with it. Right now, I just dont know what to do. Whenever I pick up the phone to call someone I just freak out and put the phone back down. I dont know what to say. I dont want people to know how I feel right now. I feel so unimportant and uncared for by my friends, family, and boyfriend. I am overwhelmed by my schoolwork. I need to finish up school this semester so I can focus on my pain and find relief. I am so stressed out right now, I dont know what to do. I wish someone could just hold me while I cry, I just want someone to hold me. Is it too much to ask for? I just wish someone could understand. People dont understand it when I cry because they are so used to seeing me being so strong and firm. People come to me and cry but when I need someone to be here for me, no one is here. It just hurts so badly. I dont know what to do. I wish I didnt feel like this. I wish I could be stronger. I wish someone could be here for me. I feel so so sad. I am so lonely. I feel so confused. I dont know how to tell people what I am feeling. I dont know how to reach out and ask for help. I go to counseling and we are working on it but I am still so confused.
