Actually, I found folks like you have described a very good example of HOW NOT TO BE.
I have always made a point of going to someone that has been hit by the 'caustic rhetoric' of someone and smoothing the waters.
Several things I was told very early have stuck with me for many many years now.
Stick with the winners.
Pick a sponsor that 'walks the way they talk.'
Pick someone that has what you want, and they didn't mean 'material things', lol
Just because someone has 'lots of time' does not mean they have serenity and peace in their life. Recovery is a HARD ROAD, in some ways maybe harder than the years I spent out there practicing my disease.
BUT, it is such a REWARDING road that I continue One Day At A Time to not only walk that road, but be the best person I can be for that day.
I cannot control or change others, I can change me. Thus I can be the "Devil's Advocate" when others may be too 'caustic' for my taste.
There are two other very important things that my Sponsor's Husband (my other sponsor) said to me very early in my recovery.
"If I baby you, I will bury you."
and
"I will risk your friendship to save your life."
Taking this fellow on would be bringing yourself down to his level. As Rowan said:
"lead by example. By being respectful of others inside and outside of meetings goes a long way." and I will add "Shows how the program is working in your life."
J M H O
Love and hugs,