Hi, Aimee...
Welcome to SR and the mental health forums!
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Please remember that there *is* light and life at the end of the tunnel. That's why you reached out and posted here. You were searching for the light. You will find it once again.
Jurneyman was right. There are some very good sources above on the stickies. Here's a great starting point:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-suicidal.html (If You Are Feeling Suicidal)
Take some time to read through some of the sources there. You will find many helpful ones.
Do you have a doctor? Have you told her/him about how you're feeling? Please do so if you have not. It's important to be honest with your health care provider. Especially when you're feeling so poorly. There are many things available to help; from therapy, to medication to outpatient or even inpatient hospitalization, if needed. But, only your doctor and you can determine the course of treatment necessary.
Please call. Then let us know how you're doing. We care.
Shalom!