Spooner-
I am right there with ya as I am dealing with the same exact situation as you. My AH HAS done lots of quacking about change for some time now and after a weekend binge he had a scare of an OD and we shall see if it is enough for him to change.
I used to beg, plead, cry and threaten him to change nothing will work and words are just words and actions speak louder than words. I let my AH do his own thing and got help for myself by Al Anon and reading and understanding he was gonna take whichever road he chose and no matter what I did it will not help him. He chose his road this weekend and I havent kicked him out again like I did in October yet. So as to an answer to your question you will feel it in your heart when you have had enough and when you have no more to give.. knowing you cannot change him, control the situation and its not your fault will give you some peace within yourself.. It is not your fault it is his addiction and until he can give into changing himself you need to take care of yourself. Keep your head up and hang in there..
