[jimhere]

Don't try to get your head around such experiences. Accept them as the gifts they are. Accept you bi-polar for what it is. I am not bi-polar, but I have alcoholism. And I see it now as a gift that brings to me to God.

And if having a belief in God and if having an experience with God means being mentally ill, I must be mentally ill.

I read one time that there is a fine line between a crazy and a sage.

Several years ago a man I sponsored had a big experience with The Great Reality, a Second Step awakening, if you will. When he began to talk of his experience in meetings, people began to tell him that he was crazy and that he needed to see a doctor and all sorts of horse***t and he began to question his experience. I finally showed him Bill's Story, where after Bill had his experience in Towns Hospital, he thought that he was hallucinating or losing his mind. It took Doctor Silkworth's explaining to Bill that no, he was not crazy for Bill to see the truth of his experience.

You see Bill was losing his mind. In order to get well, we need a new mind and in order to get a new mind (be restored to sanity), we need to lose the old mind. Mystical experiences are the losing of the old mind a the beginning of the new one. For some this is a sudden thing, for others it is a gradual awakening.

You may be bi-polar, but that does not dimish the reality of what you have experienced. I would advise against "Talking away your experience." So many, especially doctors will misunderstand them and try to define an experience with God in clinical terms. People in AA express their own agnosticism and just brush off the experience. So my advice would be to keep quiet of such experiences for now, except maybe to a sponsor or close spiritual advisor. When the time comes for you to make your experience known to the world, it will be apparent.
Peace,
Jim