BehindTheMask
I would suggest seeking out a trauma specialist who will understand all that you've described about what you're going through. In my experience normal counselors don't have a clue.
Check out these links and see if you can relate to any of it. Dissociative Disorders-What you need to know-FAQs NIMH · Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, A Real Illness · Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
__________________   “Come to the edge.” “We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.” “We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came. And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
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