| Re: Why??
"hurting so much about my inability to nurture our friendship that she is walking out."
Boy, do I identify with that! My best girlfriend of 10 years broke my heart when she cut me off due to what she perceived as my unwillingness to "nurture our friendship." Turns out I just don't KNOW how to have close friendships. So, yes, PART of that break was "my fault," but this girl definitely had issues of her own, too. Today, I have a more balanced perspective on the whole thing. I can see that each of us played a part and I have LEARNED that I don't want to make the same mistakes again.
I'm sorry you're still feeling so down on yourself. I hear a compassionate, concerned, intelligent, and funny woman in your posts. You do NOT deserve to be in a casket!! If there are things we don't like in ourselves, we are capable of change, you know? I'm trying very hard myself right now. And we CAN do this together, OK? What do you do for your recovery? Therapy, medication, meetings? I find I need all that and more.
Keep reaching out!!
Love, Eddie
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