| Re: Why??
Well I managed to make it through this awful funeral and I thought many times that I should be in that box and not this awesome, life loving, fun club starting boy. He was a miracle to anyone he touched. I had no idea that he was such a wonderful leader, worker, friend, brother and son.
My heart just broke for this family and all the time I felt that it should be me and not him. I am ruining people's lives. My husband is miserable, my kids are affected and my "friend" that sort of rubbed the part of my core that brought out all these demons is hurting so much about my inability to nurture our friendship that she is walking out. I have turned around all the hurt she caused me into my fault.
Everyone says that this will pass! I don't see it or feel it. I need to like myself. Some people just don't like sardines. It doesn't mean that sardines are bad, but they are pretty nasty to many people. I don't like sardines in fact I despise sardines and I don't like myself. I am not going to get used to sardines and I don't think I am going to get used to myself.
Thanks for your help...
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