[LaDita]

I have come to the conclusion that my apartment building is possessed. Not sure of what but it has and always has had very bad energy. It's a low-income building and 98% percent of the tenants are certifiably insane. It smells bad, people are so out of it from their medications that people often forget to take the trash out, etc. and the morale here sucks. People are extremely rude or too crazy to hold a conversation.
The police are here at least once a month because someone is having a break-down of some sort. There have been two suicides, several drug-busts and tons of other drama here and anytime I have someone over, they mention the smell or the "bad vibe".
Anyway, whenever I arrive here I feel instantly depressed in such a way that I don't even recognize that it's there. It's just this uuggh feeling that comes over me and doesn't go away until I leave.
I'm really starting to think that living in this building (where I've lived on and off for ten years) is what's been keeping me down in life. I have told this to my friend in A.A. who has lived here longer than I have and he says that this is "magical thinking" and that I have to stop blaming my surroundings and that "where ever I go, there I am" and this other condescending B.S.
The really irritating thing about this is, is that it's easy for him to say because he's never lived anywhere else (aside for his crazy parents home in the sticks) and so he has no point of reference to know what's normal and what's not.

I have complained and complained to the management about the conditions living here until I am blue in the face and if you have already read my Toxic Mold post, you probably already know his response.

There is no way I can move out on my own with my income anytime soon, if at all. I'm at a loss and I'm going crazy. I can't bear to be here much longer and I don't think, no, I know, nothing is ever going to change.