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Bernadette · 01-05-2009, 08:00 AM

Hi ginger and welcome!

Glad you found SR. I guess if you are just at the beginning of understanding how serious the situation of living/loving an alcoholic can be I would suggest a couple books that really helped me:
Under the Influence by Milgram & Ketchum
and Codependent No More by Beattie

And for me AlAnon and the literature I got at AlAnon meetings helped me more than anything in accepting the realities of alcoholism while not letting it drag me down in despair. "Functioning" alcohlism is really just a stage - it gets worse for all alcoholics because the disease is progressive.

Unfortunately there is nothing I can do to make someone quit drinking and seek recovery - and because that is so hard to accept (!!!) I needed the guidance of AlAnon and also some bouts of one on one therapy to help me keep the positive focus on my own life.

My dad was also a scientist, a chemist, very bright, very thoughtful, and he was an alcoholic. It really sucked growing up in an alcoholic home - took me a lot of work to undo that damage, but I was lucky enough to see my dad find recovery and sobriety through AA. The day he called the AA hotline and asked for help was not a day following any of his worst episodes - it was a regular hungover day - no one could have guessed he would choose sobriety on that day, but nothing any of us thought or felt or wished mattered - it was the day he had enough, the day he was finally sick and tired of being sick and tired....we who loved him had had enough and been sick and tired for A LONG TIME!!!!!

The day I finally walked into my first AlAnon meeting was the beginning of an amazing journey of education and self discovery and serenity....I highly recommend it!

peace-
B.

01-05-2009, 08:00 AM	#2 (permalink)
Bernadette Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Boston Posts: 1,667	Hi ginger and welcome! Glad you found SR. I guess if you are just at the beginning of understanding how serious the situation of living/loving an alcoholic can be I would suggest a couple books that really helped me: Under the Influence by Milgram & Ketchum and Codependent No More by Beattie And for me AlAnon and the literature I got at AlAnon meetings helped me more than anything in accepting the realities of alcoholism while not letting it drag me down in despair. "Functioning" alcohlism is really just a stage - it gets worse for all alcoholics because the disease is progressive. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do to make someone quit drinking and seek recovery - and because that is so hard to accept (!!!) I needed the guidance of AlAnon and also some bouts of one on one therapy to help me keep the positive focus on my own life. My dad was also a scientist, a chemist, very bright, very thoughtful, and he was an alcoholic. It really sucked growing up in an alcoholic home - took me a lot of work to undo that damage, but I was lucky enough to see my dad find recovery and sobriety through AA. The day he called the AA hotline and asked for help was not a day following any of his worst episodes - it was a regular hungover day - no one could have guessed he would choose sobriety on that day, but nothing any of us thought or felt or wished mattered - it was the day he had enough, the day he was finally sick and tired of being sick and tired....we who loved him had had enough and been sick and tired for A LONG TIME!!!!! The day I finally walked into my first AlAnon meeting was the beginning of an amazing journey of education and self discovery and serenity....I highly recommend it! peace- B.