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ginger777 · 01-05-2009, 07:40 AM

My husband is an 39 yr old alcoholic and I am very worried about him. He is a 20+ year functioning alcoholic. He is a wonderful man aside from his drinking.

I am not sure why he started drinking or if it even matters. I can just give a quick background of him and go from there. He was that extremely good looking guy in high school and just as smart. He comes from a fairly well off family. His father is a retired rocket scientist and his mom a retired english teacher. My husband has travelled all over the world. He is a MIT graduate. He now works in the aerospace and defense industry. He goes to work everyday and provides well for the family. At least in my eyes. Not so in his. But we come from two different places. I was raised in an extremely poor family. None of which went to college. And although it was a family where everyone worked hard we were still often on public assistance.
My husband is a good man. He would help anyone he could. He even spent years helping handicap adults before it started to get the better of him and he changed careers. He doesn't go out and he always perfers to be home with the family. He doesn't watch sports or play video games. He does anything I ask of him right away or as soon as possible. He cooks on the weekends to give me a break and often times that includes breakfast in bed.
When he drinks (which is everyday) he doesn't get mean or angry. He NEVER says a harsh words to any of us. He is even more patient than I am. There is no emotional, mental or physical abuse. I even truly believe he would try to stop drinking if I asked him to....but I know that would just set him up for failure because he has to do it for himself. When we met I was a very heavy drinker. Although not an alcoholic. I only mean that I wasn't addicted to alcohol. Even though I was drunk most every night. I am not even sure how I wasn't addicted. I will still have a drink once in awhile...out at dinner or new years eve. But it wouldn't bother me to never drink again. However my husband is addicted. (severely) He shakes bad when hes not drinking. in the daytime before he starts drinking I should say. He can't sleep unless he drinks himself into it. He may go one day without drinking...very few and far between but he is so depressed on those days. He almost functions worse on those days. But like I said they are not often. Maybe 7 days in the last 2 years. He drinks anywhere from 5 to 7 cases of beer a week.
We have 2 kids. A mental handicap 14 year old and a 4 month old.
I am not sure what to do or where to go from here. I love my husband very much and I just see him drinking himself to death.
Sorry for the book guess I am just trying to work it all out in my own mind.
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

01-05-2009, 07:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
ginger777 Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1	new - trying to figure things out My husband is an 39 yr old alcoholic and I am very worried about him. He is a 20+ year functioning alcoholic. He is a wonderful man aside from his drinking. I am not sure why he started drinking or if it even matters. I can just give a quick background of him and go from there. He was that extremely good looking guy in high school and just as smart. He comes from a fairly well off family. His father is a retired rocket scientist and his mom a retired english teacher. My husband has travelled all over the world. He is a MIT graduate. He now works in the aerospace and defense industry. He goes to work everyday and provides well for the family. At least in my eyes. Not so in his. But we come from two different places. I was raised in an extremely poor family. None of which went to college. And although it was a family where everyone worked hard we were still often on public assistance. My husband is a good man. He would help anyone he could. He even spent years helping handicap adults before it started to get the better of him and he changed careers. He doesn't go out and he always perfers to be home with the family. He doesn't watch sports or play video games. He does anything I ask of him right away or as soon as possible. He cooks on the weekends to give me a break and often times that includes breakfast in bed. When he drinks (which is everyday) he doesn't get mean or angry. He NEVER says a harsh words to any of us. He is even more patient than I am. There is no emotional, mental or physical abuse. I even truly believe he would try to stop drinking if I asked him to....but I know that would just set him up for failure because he has to do it for himself. When we met I was a very heavy drinker. Although not an alcoholic. I only mean that I wasn't addicted to alcohol. Even though I was drunk most every night. I am not even sure how I wasn't addicted. I will still have a drink once in awhile...out at dinner or new years eve. But it wouldn't bother me to never drink again. However my husband is addicted. (severely) He shakes bad when hes not drinking. in the daytime before he starts drinking I should say. He can't sleep unless he drinks himself into it. He may go one day without drinking...very few and far between but he is so depressed on those days. He almost functions worse on those days. But like I said they are not often. Maybe 7 days in the last 2 years. He drinks anywhere from 5 to 7 cases of beer a week. We have 2 kids. A mental handicap 14 year old and a 4 month old. I am not sure what to do or where to go from here. I love my husband very much and I just see him drinking himself to death. Sorry for the book guess I am just trying to work it all out in my own mind. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.