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Originally Posted by phoenix71  I also don't believe in powerlessness. I am NOT powerless, ultimately ONLY I can get power over this. Powerlessness takes the accountability out of my hands and I believe that makes relapse more likely. |
I'm a codie with an abf who just came off of subs in the last week. His DOC also Oxy. I have been going to regualr Alanon meetings to deal with my codie-ness. (he's says I'm codie because I'm a nurse.........I say maybe I became a nurse I'm codie!!)
Anyways, I just wanted to twist your thinking a little about the powerlessness thing. Don't think of it as powerless = weak, and therefore unable to take charge of your life. True, you can't "control" your drug and alcohol use.........as in, you use a little, you lose all "control" and before you know it life is all f'ed up again. Think of it like this: the most powerful control you have is to stay away from it........to "just say NO" (wow.....pardon the pun!!). You have all the power in the world - until you choose to give it to the drugs/alcohol.
My abf had a major relapse due to chronic pain that led to surgery.......(can't tell you how fun that was!!) but at first he kept saying that he wanted to "learn how to control" his meds and dosing.........until 2 weeks of meds were gone in two days. He finally realized that the only "control" he had was to admit he had none. I hope this makes sense.........like you said......typing is so hard. I'm a much better talker than typer.
You might also want to talk to your subs MD about your dosage if your cravings are still so bad. My abf had minimal to no cravings, even in the beginning of sub therapy - - just a thought. Best of luck to you, and congratulations on starting on the journey!!
