[whiskerkissed]

How bad is it? I found speed for the first time when I was 12. That was my true first love. It was fun at first. I could go longer with more enthusiasm. I could party more and drink more. I was already indestructible being a kid...on speed I was superhuman!

Then came a time years later when I came to a point I could not do without it. The fun was over. I was taking speed everyday...from every source. I became a dealer and had it at my will. I would stay up for many days (and went sometimes up to a solid week). I didn't eat. Looked like death. My skin was a mess because I was a real tweaker, too. Every zit became something to attack. I had a kid ask me once if I had the chicken pox when I was in the grocery store one day. I was getting groceries for my kids...not me. Didn't need them since I barely ate anyway.

I couldn't function without jacking a line, eating it, swallowing it. I never injected it, but I could have. Others I knew did. Not spiking it was what kept me thinking I was not an addict. I literally could not get out of bed unless I did speed. If I didn't jack something - I stayed in bed for 3 days. I made sandwiches for the kids and did ONLY what was needed - or sent them to the neighbors house to play.

Speed became my sole source of energy. Without it I didn't function. After everyday use I couldn't even get that "zing" anymore. I would begin to lose motor skills, brain function, the ability to process information right. Coming off it I was angry, sometimes violent, did not care whether I lived or died. I also did A LOT of other drugs and alcohol during my speed using days. The combinations were often real d*mn dangerous.

Playing with drugs lead me to 34 yrs of a real screwed up life. Now the only way I have found I can stop using drugs is going through a 12-step program because I cannot do it for myself.

I hope your English can get you through the whole story without much trouble. And stay away from the Adderall!! Stay away from drugs!!