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Welcome lifeisfunny - I'm glad you found SR. Stick around, I think it is one thing you can do for yourself so that you can start to find your own answers.
A lot of members are in different places in their "journeys" of dealing with a loved one who is dealing with addiction. Some are trying to help the addict get better and some are trying to detach and work on themselves, some have let go and have moved on to more serenity, while many are somewhere in between.
What I'm trying to say is that the answers to your questions depends on what you are ready for. From your post it sounds like your EXGF is smack in the middle of her disease. I wish there was a cure for it, something you could do for her to help her out of it, but really, she has to be willing (as you know).
That said, I'm going straight for question #5: to help yourself, help YOURSELF. Meaning, take this time to learn more about codependency, read the experience, strength, and hope of others here on SR, and maybe try out and naranon or alanon meeting, and do things for yourself to keep your own sanity. Addiction has a funny way to drive us loved ones crazy too.
You care about her, you probably still love her. But, right now, she is not willing to accept your love. It may be hard, but there is a saying around here, "Hands off the addict"...it may work for you right now.
I wish you the best on your journey.
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