Originally Posted by
BumblingAlong 
So, why DO alcoholics "double bind" - tell you they love you and then cheat on you
The very first and most important lesson I learned when I first came to SR was "Actions not Words." As a codependent, I used to believe the words and deny the actions, or justify, or minimize, or excuse, or whatever. It was a huge AHA moment for me when I learned to believe the actions and ignore the words.
I once even told my AH that I could not hear his words because his actions were drowning them out, lol.
L