[Impurrfect]

Welcome to SR!

I'm a recovering addict, and was a nurse for several years. The medications your wife is on are some serious opiates and though I'm sure she has built up a tolerance to them, they can still be fatal when used in combination. They can literally make her forget to breathe.

The "doctor shopping" IS illegal and can have some serious legal consequences, including jail time and fines.

That being said, what the above posters said is true. Going to meetings and getting support for YOU is the best thing you can do. Doling out medicines for an addict usually does not work, at least for long. They will stash medicines, and even if they don't, both parties usually end up with huge resentments. She will resent you if she can't get what she wants when she wants it. You will resent her for being angry about it, and having to treat her like a child.

As an RA (recovering addict), I can tell you that until I hit bottom, nothing anyone said or did made me seek recovery. For most of us, bottom means facing some pretty harsh consequences. Mine included loss of a nursing license, homelessness, prostitution and jail, just to name a few.

My stepmom also has legit pain, and had abused pain pills. This abuse has turned to addiction, and she was arrested, 3 weeks ago, for trying to fill a prescription that was fraudulent (she's 62 years old). My dad had been in denial, saying "but she's in pain". She had been getting pain meds from a friend, when the pills from her 2 doctors were not enough. I am only telling you this, to give you an idea of what an addict will do to get their pills.

My stepsister has chronic pain, and had an addiction to klonopin. She goes to an addictionologist, who works with her pain AND her addiction and both are very well taken care of, so there IS a way to deal with both issues, but your wife has to want it.

Keep reading and posting. Think about boundaries and what you will tolerate and the consequences if your wife crosses those boundaries. Remember the 3 c's...you didn't cause it, can't change it, can't cure it. You CAN change how it affects YOU, however, and that is were meetings come in (and SR).

Hugs and prayers!

Amy