[runningfree]

Thanks Juls,
This seems to be the common theme in my responses--to accept myself more. I just don't see it as a thing that is going to happen for me unless someone hits me over the head and I lose my memory. As soon as I try to do something good I sabatoge myself therefore the wanting side of me loses out because the self punishing side of me is stronger and much more assertive and destructive. I did find peace with myself for quite sometime when on a different medication and something happened in my personal life that rocked my emotions up and the medications seemed to be slowly becoming uneffective prior to this and all happened at the same time. A year later, I am on another meds that doesn't seem to give me that same feeling that the other did and I feel that hopefully I will be able to find that peaceful feeling that allowed to not butcher myself and feel so worthless. Life was good then and I don't know if I can get it back because if it is up to me entirely then it ain't happening!!!!
Thanks again-- I don't even know if you will get this if it is on my original post>>>