[Juls]

I really feel out of touch trying to get adjusted to all the changes here. I don't take change easily, LOL, and it seems so complicated. Also I miss seeing my name listed on my forum site as "moderator" LOL. Now it only says "forum leader" over my avatar. Which by the way I would like a new one dear sweet Avatar fairy. A Georgia O'keefe flower painting of one blossom of something would be great.

I've really been getting things together here at home in the past couple of months that our computer is out of order. I got caught up on alot of stuff around the house. Ever since my husband and I had our "big talk" about our marriage, where I seriously considered leaving with our daughter, he has changed so much. Seeing all the positive changes in him has really motivated me to want to make a better home for us. Before I had so much resentment for him that I just didn't really do anything after we moved in to make it homey and nice. I just couldn't because anything I would do like that would just make me resent him more. It's a long story about all that, and I won't go into all the boring details.

Now I feel good about being here with him, and we are much more cohesive as a family. Before we hardly ever even ate dinner all together. Usually I would eat with our daughter before he came home, and he was lucky if I cooked anything for him at all. Now we sit down as a family to eat regularly.

My daughter has finally started sleeping in her room, in her own bed, so we now share a bed together. I didn't want to sleep with him before, so I didn't work very hard on getting my daughter to sleep in her own room. I never talked about it much here because I don't like to just talk about the negative things happening in my life, but my marriage has been really, really difficult. But on an emotional level, he doesn't hit me, or curse me, and he doesn't drink or use, but emotionally he can be very cold and rejecting and that hurt me so badly. I was in a constant state of turmoil because I didn't want to stay, but he's not a bad father and the time I left before for 3 months was so hard on our daughter. But I was getting so unhappy I just felt I couldn't stay, and that's when we had the big talk.

Back to the site though, am I the only one who thinks it seems a little too complicated? LOL I'm sure I'll get the hang of it though the more I'm here now.

Juls