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Something in my head always tells me I need to stay awake and finish some stuff first. But usually that 'important stuff' winds up being my petty compulsions; being on the computer looking up irrelevant stuff, or binge-eating. And sometimes that voice is telling me that I'm going to be missing out on something if I go to sleep, but it's false.
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That's exactly the programming in my head.
I was at the VA Hospital last week for my once (or twice) a year check up, and I asked the doctor for something to help me sleep. I told them just give me a weeks worth. I was thinking if I could just get a pattern jump-started I would be fine.
I'm not sure even what drug they are going to send me. I just told them to put the prescription in the mail so I wouldn't have to stand in the usual long lines.
I do have some tiny bit of comfort in knowing these bouts with insomnia tend to go away. But, for the last month or so I have been stuck in this pattern.
There are things I can do to help myself, like turn off the TV or radio at night and just lay there in the dark.
I have maxed out my level of Benadryl at about 100 mg (personal level), Unisom only makes me wake up hourly but there is some sleep.
I am going to add melatonin to my list.