Sorry folks, this one is a mixed bag here...
It seems right as the perfect time to go to bed comes along (10pm-ish), I get my second wind. It's now three am and I'm still awake, feeling crappy and remorseful that I didn't seize the opportunity.
Something in my head always tells me I need to stay awake and finish some stuff first. But usually that 'important stuff' winds up being my petty compulsions; being on the computer looking up irrelevant stuff, or binge-eating. And sometimes that voice is telling me that I'm going to be missing out on something if I go to sleep, but it's false.
I have been trying to figure out where my insomnia came from. As a kid I used to stay up late for 'high' effect it gave. And then as a teenager, I used to stay up late so I could be prepared to do what I needed to when one of my parents came home drunk and I'd either have to leave, hide or fend off their attacks.
Now I think it's just a force of habit and I may be this way all my life. I've never held a consistent sleep routine longer than two weeks. And I know some people who are just 'nocturnal'. But for my needs, I think it's best that I start getting up early like a normal person.
The whole town is going to be snowed in tomorrow (I mean, today!) and so I don't feel too guilty about sleeping in, but I my goal is to not sleep past twelve am, and next I'll keep trying until I can get to not sleeping in past 9am.
