I feel so bad for the innocent children that have to reap the damages of parents choices.
I was a raised in a house full of hidden addictions. As an adult I looked to fix a husband that had a hidden addiction. When all my efforts failed I too fell into "addiction's" hands. As I work on staying clean and sober I plead with the strength rebuild our "glass house"... (I don't want them to be "broken" adults...)
I look back at over the years,
I thought that we had it all
people that glanced, envied us.
we where the perfect family
or at least the illusion of one.
then our glass house shattered.
and our world crumbled
The man of the house
had fallen...
into the web of addiction, he was lost
I tried and tried to pick up the shattered pieces
as two, but.....
with blood dripping from my hands,
I had to let go of us, now just one.
oozing with infected blood
single and alone
Scared and struggling to provide.
I fell short
I had to stop feeling everything
I had to become numb,
just to walk through each day
A Robot going through the all motions
that is all I knew how to do
I am so sorry.......
I made you all stop feeling too
I still cant stop the images
small innocent eyes
begging for the answers,
small beating hearts
begging me
to be what they needed me to be
a mother........
I couldn't handle one more drop of sadness
not one more tear, not one more bleeding hand
I became an enclosed monster, with nothing left
no more tears no more emotions
no more happiness
meant no more falls,
No more trust meant
No more broken glass...........
(I am so sorry my children, but.....
look outside now,
the sun is shinning again!)