I find this thread very interesting. Reminds me of a few things my abf would sometimes do to make me feel like things were my fault.
Several times when i would complain about his behaviour or his addiction he'd throw at me 'Well i told you i wasn't perfect when we met. So what do you expect?'
Of course i couldn't say anything in response.
Or i would be tired at 4am and want to sleep, but he wants to stay up longer than his friends and drink and use more drugs. As soon as i'd mention wanting to go home, he'd throw me 'You're younger than me and you can't stay up? The more you tell me you're tired, the longer i'll stay up. If you just enjoy yourself and stay up i will soon go home.'
I would feel so resentful and feel like a fool.
These are little things i don't stand for anymore.
He is obviously wanting you to offer to help. Then he can say 'Wel you offered' when it all goes wrong. If he needs help with anything, let him ASK YOU directly and then you can lay down your bounderies.
It sounds like he is hinting rather than askin for your help of advice.
Stay strong
~Limiya~