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My experience has been that the addict will work on making me feel like I am being cold, uncaring, selfish when I have tried to take care of me. It is a subtle and sometimes not so subtle attempt at looking like he is doing all that he can.... being the "good guy", but I am not willing to help him out.
He was good at making me feel guilty for not "giving him another chance"... everyone makes mistakes type of approach. I usually felt like, "ok, I signed on for the committment and I have a responsibility to help out and be there for him" What I often didn't allow myself to see clearly was the price that I would pay... he didn't (maybe couldn't) follow thru and there was not a return of the comm. and support. He made it easy for me to feel bad about me. Sometimes because I wouldn't do what he wanted... (guilt, etc) other times because I did what he wanted... ( how could I have so little self-respect, be so dumb as to trust him, etc.)
Stay true to you and remember "if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck... guess what?!?!?! Take care of you. You matter and you need to be healthy and happy above all.
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