| ksos! and whoever
"I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I was blessed to have been caught, as I never would have stopped using these drugs." —ksos
Doesn't sound ridiculous at all! In fact, I totally identify. It only took me a few hours after I knew I was busted to get really grateful that it had happened. It meant all the misery of my active addiction was going to end. I may have felt differently if I had actually gone to jail, but I didn't, so I'm not going to worry about that. The counselor who sent me to treatment said I was very lucky to be alive and I'm sure he was right.
I thought it was my destiny to be a junkie. That I was just going to go on using 'til I died. Although those last several months I admit I was looking for a way out. I had even thought of going to NA. I question whether I didn't do what I did to get caught on purpose subconsciously. I know I didn't really care if I did. Know what I mean? I'm sure you do.
What are you doing at home, by the way?
Love, Eddie
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