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Hi Jennifer
I stopped drinking about 9 weeks ago now by going to a counseller and being prescribed seroxat (called paxil in the US) as an anti-depressant and anatbuse (you throw up if you have a drink).
I was responding really well in the few weeks i started counselling as i was seriously considering ending my life and gave myself this one last chance to turn things around so i guess i grabbed a lifeline which was much needed.
My sleeping patterns are all over the place, so much so that i have started sleeping a couple of hours during the day and then staying up late, and for about a week i hardly left my bed/couch. I can only put this down to the medication but i'm not moaning as i would happily live like this for the rest of my life rather than go back to 9 weeks ago as i know i haven't go the strength on me to bounch back again so if i relapse thats it for me, i can't go back to a living hell again.
I am ok at work but i find it very difficult to talk to people in a social sense or even talking to the lady who bakes the bread at the local shop, i don't know why this is but i am working through this at the counselling.
I have social anxiety apparently and am depressed, and have been using the alcohol to self medicate which was a very important piece of information for me to be told as it makes so much sense.
I bought an exercise machine, ski machine thingy as i enjoy that exercise the most, it is being installed this week and i will start after the holiday season as exercise really is important to keep energy levels up and to feel better. A walk is just as good, or doing some sort of exercise to the telly.
The counseller part is really important to me and i kind of set myself up from the start with this one, by saying that if she is talking crap i will tell her i think she is and whatever i feel towards her or the counselling i will be honest and straight forward otherwise it wont work. I think you should tell your counseller what you are feeling and more important if this one is not working get another, it is so important that you do not start feeling negative towards the counselling and only towards that counseller:-)
She said i should go to AA but to be honest i was scared and embarassed, since i have stopped for a little period now i feel less silly about going to AA and i think in January I am going to start going, i have found some local meetings, at least i will have some time behind me and, i know they would not judge me anyway, but anyone can see i am making an effort and i am not wasting peoples valuable time and efforts.
One of the things i have not done which is crucial is to ensure i am not a dry drunk, this means going to the spnaish classes i am always talking about, going to AA, starting a new hobby, starting reading again etc but to be honest i have been enjoying my new found sobriety so much that i have not done all these things. However i realise that the pills are making me feel better and all these things and the counselling are just as important to ensure i lead a productive and happy life.
I really feel for you as i can relate to what you are saying and hope this has been of help.
keep going, we can do this, i know it!
Cliff
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