I agree the Holidays seem to have a psychosis of their own and can create feelings of loneliness, fear and even lower our boundaries...that should be no reason to put yourself in a dangerous situation. Have you acknowledged that this is not just a phase for him and perhaps he will not change until you leave and even then maybe not?
He obviously feels that his life is out of control and he is willing to bring you down with him and even blame you for being there. If you get blamed anyway wouldn't you rather do it from a vantage point? Go to a friends for awhile just to get a fresh perspective. It really helped me see when I moved away from the situation.
Blackout or not this is extremely aggressive behavior and now that he knows you're still there after this behavior-somewhere in the back of his mind it is o.k.
Umm yeah that will be his next "blackout" and I wouldn't even take the chance. You have a future without him, don't believe that you don't. There are people in here that have found true love at 68 so I don't believe we should stick by them to watch.
It seems like you are worried about him and that is fine I felt the same way but you can love from a distance ...a safe one? Just my thought.
I wish you prayer and hope because I know it is hard.
