[Sugah]

Liz, I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but I have all the faith in the world that you can. You're about as no-nonsense about life as I've seen folks come. If you have an experience, you allow yourself to experience it fully. You're not afraid to look at yourself and what you're feeling. I admire that more than you could know.

Yes, I've had those moments. Like you, at home, I manage. I have grown or almost grown kids who help, and I can go along knowing that I'm teaching them responsibility. The whole truth is that I need their help, but at home, I don't have to focus solely on that.

You know that I'm on my own a lot these days. Being in my apartment isn't so bad. Dishes don't pile up much, and any messes there are to clean up are mine, so I do my best not to make them.

But when I'm out and about, I get reminded frequently that there are differences between me and the majority. I don't talk about the neurological pain much because focusing on it too much seems to amplify it, and it can quickly become more than I can bear. I can deal with muscles pain, bone pain, but nerves--huh uh.

I've looked at a two-block incline that I know I have to climb it to get to where I need to be, searing shocks climbing both my legs, people passing me right and left. I'd be lying if I said I never questioned my ability to do what I'm doing--or how long I can keep it up. So, I pray. "Let me take the next step if it's your will." So far, so good. I accept the reality that I've done what docs said I couldn't do--come back from an advanced stage of my condition and function again. Not at the level I did before, but compared to what I'd become resigned to, I'm walking on friggin' sunshine.

Each day is a gift.

As always, you have my prayers, sister.

Peace & Love,
Sugah