Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123  Basically I am a nutcase. I have a few problems when sober. But I am a nutcase, complete nutcase when drinking.
All the great things about me have disappeared. It's because of the alcohol.
Even if I fix myself people are still going to think I am a nutcase. I'm a complete embarrassment, I am a complete disgrace. And right now I completely hate myself.
I'm a nutcase because I have hurt someone so close to me who has given me the whole world. I hate myself because of it. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know what to do.
All because I am a stupid alcoholic. All because I cannot control myself like normal people. |
(((Missy)))
You're not a "nutcase," an "embarrassment" nor a "disgrace."
You're an alcoholic.
And there is an answer to that problem, though it's not an easy one. It's quite simple though. It's the 12 Step program of AA. Through it you can learn how to live without alcohol; to get in touch with your Higher Power; and to take a continuous inventory of the self, to keep yourself on the right track. A sponsor will help you through those 12 Steps -- and away from any 13th steppers! LOL! You can google AA meetings to find one near you.
We have a forum above with the principles of the 12 step program and we also have each of the 12 steps in a sub forum. These serve as great helps, but, do not neglect face to face meetings and a real sponsor. A forum can never substitute for them, as a forum can never really reach your core and call you on your bs. And that is where you will get your support and your growth from. We also have nightly meetings for support, though most are not AA in format.
BTW, "normal" is a setting on a washing machine.
It doesn't exist in the human condition.
I hope you will give it a try. I know that you are hurting right now. This pain can and will end when you take the steps to make your life better. And yes, people will forgive you, once they see that you've made changes in your life. We humans are a very forgiving group of folks. Afterall. who among us is without fault?
Please let us know how you're doing. And if you decide to give it a try. We care.
Shalom!