chad, sorry you're going through this.
Mr. B is right on, unfortunately. SHE is the only one who can decide when and how she wants to use alcohol. Some people here have talked, begged, pleaded, and reasoned with alcohol-abusers until they were blue in the face, but until someone wants to seek help, nothing will really change.
The choice you face is whether you are comfortable with this or not. I found I had to walk away - the alcoholic madness, tension, etc. was just more than I wanted to handle any more.
I wish you luck!! Please feel free to keep coming back to SR. There's lots of good thinking and good support here.
GL