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When I was getting to the frantic stage, I also heard everyone saying leave him, leave him, yet no one ever said it. I don't see one post here that says leave him. I would never advise someone to leave another.
I know plenty of people in recovery. Some marriages have survived, some have not. I also have friends in Al Anon who have chosen to stay. Their marriages are not ones I would choose for myself, but they make them work and that is what matters.
I am the only one who knows what is best for me. I probably stayed in my marriage about 5 years longer than others thought I should. Good for them LOL!!!! The only difference I see for me, is that I wasn't aware he was an alcoholic and truly believed I was the reason he drank. I'm not a person to have regrets, but I do wish I had discovered Al Anon and/or SR way before I did.
I happen to very much believe in nothing changes until something changes, and that change has to start with me. I have no idea if what I chose to change about myself will someday have a positive impact on xAH. What I do know is it had an incredibly positive impact on ME, and today I would not trade my life for anyone's.
Keep posting frantic - you truly are among people who understand. I know that I wish for you and your husband the very best.
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