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Both of you are so, so right. I need THERAPY and to find the right Al-anon group.
I am not going to lie, 1) I did everything I possibly could have a couple of months into his recovery: Al-anon, couples therapy, family/group counseling, reading books, reading forums, but I didn't keep up with it. I thought, "He wasn't, so why should I?" Arggghh, now I don't even know where to pick up. 2) I am so BUMMED that this is my life right now and that I am the only person in control of this (just being honest) and so angry with myself.
I'm assuming Al-anon has worked for you consistently? To be 100% honest, I felt the meetings I attended didn't really fit. They were filled with family members, but few spouses, and I found it hard to relate and identify.
So, can I ask, when do you know when you've had enough (of the deception and hurt)? When do you stop believing things are going to change? The few married people in my groups were still with their spouses after 10-15 years of dealing with the recovery/relapse back and forth, and they seemed so sad.
I am scared that my life as I had dreamed is over. I had plans. We had plans. We've been through so much, WHEN does it stop?
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