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Hiya frantic--
but I have spoken to my sister and she says she will warn everyone not to mention the bike rally.
Why are you all making an effort to protect this person from the consequences of his own behavior? This is serious active enabling and for me engaging in this kind of behavior on behalf of my alcoholic brothers made ME sick (and miserable!).
I would arrange for rides to get to my sister's by myself and if you want to go up to the country and see him and his mother arrange for a ride there, or give it a miss and let he and his mom have some quality time together!
You describe him as a "periodic" drunk. He is just in a certain stage of alcoholism, not unique at all, and alcoholism is a progressive disease - meaning things will only get worse - so change is coming whether you make it happen (by taking care of you, starting maybe by enjoying a serene X-mas w/ your family) or you keep enabling him and the change comes in the form of his progressively worse alcoholism and behavior, and your progressively more intense misery.
It's just the worst time of year! It is sad to think you have to be in this position - feeling like you can do no right! But maybe just let it all go a little - do something out of the box and trust the process of life--like Denny said, I definitely used to build up and awfulize what I imagined would happen if I did X, Y or Z. Often I was surprised that people are way more aware and understanding of my decisions - and that I really only have to make sure ONE person is Ok with my choice and that's ME!
I see you are in NSW-- Maybe get away to beautiful Queensland by yourself and lay in the sun!! ;-)
Good luck frantic and (((hugs)))
Peace-
B.
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