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Hey there!! Welcome to SR!!
I think that you should go to Christmas with your family. That is what it's all about. I think that you need to set some ground rules and let him know what you expect of him during your visit so that you avoid any arguing or issues at Christmas. Then I would start dealing with problems head on after Christmas. I don't mean to sound like you should procrastinate but it is the holiday season and it is a very hard time to start dealing with such deep issues during such a happy/busy time. But you definitly need to deal with them. Hope this helps!
Jack
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