[Ago]

The interesting thing for me was when I did my steps looking at various results of different actions in my life really taught me "I don't know what's good for me or for anyone else"

Some examples:

Doing my ninth step "wrong" with my father set in motion a sequence of events that can only be described as "miraculous"

Once, when I was still drinking, a man who I drank with, and considered a "lower companion" came and asked "what we were doing today"

Every time I drank with him we went to Jail, so I said "I can't drink with you any more"

Years later he approached me at a meeting, he said the moment I said that, "His drinking was done" He drank for another year and a half, but the joy was gone. He considered me the lowest of the low companions, I was the craziest person he had ever met, and when even I wouldn't drink with him, it literally "ruined his drinking"

He has 18 years of sobriety today.

I drank after 3 years of sobriety, I had a "fleet" of sponsees who "idolized me" (their words)

Them watching me "go out" then seeing my life "spin out of control" after I had taken them through the steps was the single most important thing I ever "did for them" they have all approached me and told me "that's when I grabbed on to the program with both hands and held on for dear life, if it could take you down, ....." well, let's just say it got their attention, hearing an old sponsee share about that experience the other night bout made me cry.

When I worked my steps I realized everything I had ever labeled as "good" had brought me pain and suffering, and everything I had ever labeled as "bad" had brought me growth.

The difference between a good day and a bad day is about five years of hindsight for me, I am that stupid.

The Butterfly effect is an important thing, but what I learned from all that was I am in fact, not God, and I was better off not pretending I was, and that I truly don't know what's best for others...don't get me wrong, I have sponsored probably...I don't know...50? 60? guys, taking at least over thirty through the steps, and thats a goodness, and in ten years working an ambulance I literally saved 100's of lives, Good Works are beyond important to me as "Faith without works is dead" but I need to let go of the idea I am anything but the vehicle, and realize "I know but little" and truthfully...I know less then that.

If guys like Gandhi, Bill W, Martin Luther King jr say things like that, how much more important is it for me, a "dumb as a box of hair" surfer guy to realize the vastness of my limitations?

Good topic