I am also not sure I agree with the 'hostage' part, as we chose to go along with the alcoholic. In my own case I chose to maintain my codie state of mind many years past the passing of my parents. Only recently (since logging on here) have I seen my actions as a choice, and other healthier choices are available.
As an analogy I have often thought of alcoholism (not the alcoholic) as a sort of black hole that warps and twists everything nearby (emotions, relationships, health, the truth) to serve the single purpose of perpetuating the addiction. And one is blinded to the actual cause.
Analogies only go so far. Communicat, you really hit me over the head with these statements:
I couldn't tell an anecdote, it had to be an epic.
I did not have dialogues, I had monolgues.
I awfulized everything that happened to me, making me feel special.
My bad day was your bad day, too.
Especially the 'feel special' part. That got me right where I live. It is statements like this that keep us on the right track. Thanks.
