I personally don't think there is any confusion whatsoever here about the difference between a "hard drinker" and a "real alcoholic" the difference in opinion lies in what we do and how we do it.
I am a "peace lovin, granola eatin, live and let live, unconditional love kind of guy
I don't feel "qualified to tell you "your problem" or "your solution" but I can tell you what "my problem" and "my solution" is, and the solution of millions of others, which happens to be the spiritual awakening as a result of working the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I am not qualified to give you advice or opinion, only to share my experience, strength and hope.
OK, here is where the rubber hits the road, the moment someone either says "I want your opinion" or worse yet, "Will you sponsor me?" all bets are off.
You have just asked for my "opinion" so look the "F" out.
Some here have actually figured out, I am actually a terrifying "Book Thumper" of the "old school", but it's just my answer, not everybody's, and as Steve says intolerance of others is absolutely unacceptable behavior.
I just happened to read the "whole" book, including the parts that say we aren't Doctors, the we realize we know but a little, that we have an answer that works for us, and that "love and tolerance" of others is our code, and intolerance of others is unacceptable and we can choose our own conception of God.
That's why the "Book Thumpers" in my area love me, the message I have carries depth and weight.
"Attraction not Promotion" and "Love and Tolerance of others" are my mantras.
I have also learned over the years there is more then "One way up the mountain" I have a way that works for me, for my sponsees, and for millions of people around the world, but if "you" decide a "different way" works for you, God Bless You, whether it works or not, if it doesn't I will either be here for you to try "my way" or give you "Godspeed" on your next endeavor, I am not God, I don't know all the answers, I don't "know" whats best for you, all I know is what worked for me.
OK, back to sponsee's, I have dozens of "old sponsees" I have taken through the steps, many of whom have from 15 years, to seven years, I have grandsponsees, great grand sponsees, I have 100's of "descendants" in my "sponsee family" OK here is the speech I got, which I still give to this day:
The speech I give my new sponsees is verbatim here:
Quote:
Sponsee: Will you sponsor me?
Me: Are you prepared to go to any length?
Sponsee: no
me: Take care, good luck
Sponsee: Yes
Me: OK, this is the speech my sponsor gave me, you don't get to be a little bitch ANY MORE, you have identified yourself as an alcoholic in the program of alcoholics Anonymous, that means you have admitted the problem, you have told the truth, you don't get to use that as an excuse for your bullshit behavior ANY MORE, from here on out, you need to mean what you say, and say what you mean, you don't get to lie any more, you've gone through your whole life lying, and it stops here, it stops with me, I'm the one person in the whole world you have to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth to, and if you have a problem with that, go find another sponsor, I got no problem with that, after you practice with me for awhile, you maybe will learn how to start telling the truth to others, all we have in this life is our word, it's the single most important thing that defines you as a man, and if your word is no good, you are no good, so it's time to rebuild that starting now. The fact you have admitted to God, to yourself, and to a group of alcoholics that you are an alcoholic means you don't ever have to take another drink again, you don't have any excuse to drink ever again, and if you do, it's because you lied to yourself.
that is literally the speech I got, and I give. Women are a little nicer to each other, but just so you know, I forgive my sponsees just about anything but lying to me repeatedly.
Even if they **** up, I make them "man up", and stop telling me ******* stories. Apologies don't cut it. "try" means "to make a feeble effort"
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So, if someone decides they are a "real alcoholic" and reaches out for help, I'm there, it just looks different for different situations.
Quote:
"Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety."
"I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there.
And for that, I am responsible." |
It doesn't say anything there about chasing people away, giving medical advice, telling people that AA isn't for them, or they are "doing it wrong"
I personally don't think pushing people away from the program, or taking other peoples inventory is helpful, nor is "working other peoples programs" I can only be helpful by working my own, and being an example of the power of good in AA.
Anyhow, that's my opinion on this whole "real alcoholic" and "real solution" crap, which I have NEVER heard in a meeting of AA by the way, like Paul says, nothing but love in the rooms, although we do occasionally encounter a "bump", all I can do is to "be" the program of Alcoholics Anonymous" to the best of my ability.
If
ANYBODY walks through the doors of AA and says, my name is ______ and I am an alcoholic, and I need help, I will do anything in my power to help them, inside the structure of the twelfth step.
Stay Sober and Help others to achieve sobriety
As simple today as it was yesterday when I wrote it.