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jurneyman · 11-20-2008, 07:50 AM

Rude awakening, I can not only relate to your situation. I am existing in the middle of it. I also own my own business that has been built from the ground up. Last spring I was putting in way to many hours, to try and make payments on a bankruptcy, that was caused by not being able to work due to a serious physical problem, surgery to repair the damage. and then months of rehab. I wasn't able to work for a little over a year.

Then last spring I got taken out by depression, which put me in a chair in my living room staring at the wall or out the window. I shut the phone off, quit looking at my mail, hardly ate, and getting up to go to the bathroom was almost to much work, I thought about finding the bed pan I had in the hospital to use so I wouldn't have to move. I keep looking at the clock waiting until it was time to go to bed since it was the only thing I had to look forward to during the day. I had no interest in anything, nothing, I didn't for almost 4 months. I left half eaten frozen dinners in the sink, and never took the garbage out.

I couldn't leave my house, afraid one of my customers would see me, and want the work that had been paid for, the guilt of not being a man of my word to my customers many of who were friends, and had helped build my business back up from the bankruptcy. I couldn't go out in the shop and try to do something/anything, I just couldn't, and it almost put me over the edge. I didn't want to face the loss of everything, after I had worked so had to keep it. I just was not able to do anything positive for myself, I was stuck to that chair as if by a heavy weight holding me there and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't push myself enough to overcome it.

Long story short, I found this board and found out that I was Bi-Polar II, something that I had never heard of before. I went to a PDr. and started working at finding a medication that could help me, that is where I am now, please don't wait as long as I did, don't be too proud to find help, and consider the suggestions that History Teach shared with you, for the most part on this thread, they come from experience. It will get better, but no matter how hard it is, it has to start with you. If you can force yourself to just get to a DR. like I did, just try, even if you don't want to. Let today by posting on this board, and asking for some help, be the start, keep the momentum going, just getting started is 90% of getting something done. This board has helped me with valuable information, and supported me, even when I didn't really want it but needed it. Anytime you might want to stop in for any reason. believe it or not there are people in this world who care about what you are going through, and want to help. Good luck, and hope to see you again.

11-20-2008, 07:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
jurneyman Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Western N.Y. Posts: 595	Rude awakening, I can not only relate to your situation. I am existing in the middle of it. I also own my own business that has been built from the ground up. Last spring I was putting in way to many hours, to try and make payments on a bankruptcy, that was caused by not being able to work due to a serious physical problem, surgery to repair the damage. and then months of rehab. I wasn't able to work for a little over a year. Then last spring I got taken out by depression, which put me in a chair in my living room staring at the wall or out the window. I shut the phone off, quit looking at my mail, hardly ate, and getting up to go to the bathroom was almost to much work, I thought about finding the bed pan I had in the hospital to use so I wouldn't have to move. I keep looking at the clock waiting until it was time to go to bed since it was the only thing I had to look forward to during the day. I had no interest in anything, nothing, I didn't for almost 4 months. I left half eaten frozen dinners in the sink, and never took the garbage out. I couldn't leave my house, afraid one of my customers would see me, and want the work that had been paid for, the guilt of not being a man of my word to my customers many of who were friends, and had helped build my business back up from the bankruptcy. I couldn't go out in the shop and try to do something/anything, I just couldn't, and it almost put me over the edge. I didn't want to face the loss of everything, after I had worked so had to keep it. I just was not able to do anything positive for myself, I was stuck to that chair as if by a heavy weight holding me there and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't push myself enough to overcome it. Long story short, I found this board and found out that I was Bi-Polar II, something that I had never heard of before. I went to a PDr. and started working at finding a medication that could help me, that is where I am now, please don't wait as long as I did, don't be too proud to find help, and consider the suggestions that History Teach shared with you, for the most part on this thread, they come from experience. It will get better, but no matter how hard it is, it has to start with you. If you can force yourself to just get to a DR. like I did, just try, even if you don't want to. Let today by posting on this board, and asking for some help, be the start, keep the momentum going, just getting started is 90% of getting something done. This board has helped me with valuable information, and supported me, even when I didn't really want it but needed it. Anytime you might want to stop in for any reason. believe it or not there are people in this world who care about what you are going through, and want to help. Good luck, and hope to see you again.