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rudeawakening · 11-19-2008, 11:22 PM

I'm sitting here in my chair, in my living-room, in my house, for almost 3 weeks now for no apparent reason other than I must be depressed.

What makes no sense is I'm not on any drugs, I'm not drinking (not that I drink much), I don't have any thoughts of harming myself, I have no desire to do anything or go anywhere.

My birthday was a few days ago and didn't do anything, never left the house.

I have disassociated myself from my friends and people in general and resided to being alone. I know this is unhealthy, but yet I feel justified in my actions. I tend to push people away from myself when I get into a defensive survival mode.

I make feeble attempts to find work for my business, I don't follow thru.

I know I have been discouraged with the economy, the elections and my business is suffering from it, but I am in a good position. Non of it makes sense as to why I have completely withdrawn from everything.

I did work around the house 2 weeks ago and I felt accomplished. I have been planning on doing more work, but then its like I just completely forget or have no motivation... no its more like a deer dead in the middle of the street with a car coming. I'm unwilling to spend the money for a few things I want to buy for the house. I do know that I am the type of person that needs a challenge and needs to be productive in order to be happy.

Usually I get over this in a couple days, but this time it has ahold on me and its not letting go. I am depressed and I don't really know why and I just don't know how to get myself out of this mess. I realize I'm probably in the middle of my "Mid Life" but this crap has to stop, It makes no sense.

11-19-2008, 11:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
rudeawakening Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 45	It makes no sense I'm sitting here in my chair, in my living-room, in my house, for almost 3 weeks now for no apparent reason other than I must be depressed. What makes no sense is I'm not on any drugs, I'm not drinking (not that I drink much), I don't have any thoughts of harming myself, I have no desire to do anything or go anywhere. My birthday was a few days ago and didn't do anything, never left the house. I have disassociated myself from my friends and people in general and resided to being alone. I know this is unhealthy, but yet I feel justified in my actions. I tend to push people away from myself when I get into a defensive survival mode. I make feeble attempts to find work for my business, I don't follow thru. I know I have been discouraged with the economy, the elections and my business is suffering from it, but I am in a good position. Non of it makes sense as to why I have completely withdrawn from everything. I did work around the house 2 weeks ago and I felt accomplished. I have been planning on doing more work, but then its like I just completely forget or have no motivation... no its more like a deer dead in the middle of the street with a car coming. I'm unwilling to spend the money for a few things I want to buy for the house. I do know that I am the type of person that needs a challenge and needs to be productive in order to be happy. Usually I get over this in a couple days, but this time it has ahold on me and its not letting go. I am depressed and I don't really know why and I just don't know how to get myself out of this mess. I realize I'm probably in the middle of my "Mid Life" but this crap has to stop, It makes no sense.