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Im a sulk, your replies made me cry. Well, I cried, what a relief, cos it was nice to know someone cared, thanks.
Tah, yes, I am lonely and its scary. I thought about it over the weekend somewhat, and I think whats happened is that I was in a pretty powerful job before this and knew 100's of people (mainly customers), looked after family, solved their probs (worst thing I did) but I was sick.
The job and everything was killing me, too much stress, Id had enough, couldnt cope anymore. Basically collapsed and wanted quiet. Well I got it alright. Now I realize I dont know anyone and my family are busy doing their own thing. Ive been working on my business but I feel desperate some how. I realize I dont know even know ME. What have i been doing for all these years? Working thats all, not living and its like I need to start again but dont quite know how.
Like I said, Im not suppose to be like this, Im suppose to be the confident, no problem girl ready to put arms around someone else and now I cant even tell anyone how Im feeling. This sounds dumb but I feel embarrassed, I cant even tell my other half. Hes kind of like me, off doing his thing too. I hate being vulnerable to him. My AS called me Sat night with all her dribble and I felt like saying, do you have any idea how I am. but figured whats the point. Thats how it is, alot of us have addictions or seem selfish. I want someone to care about me for a change, oh, wouldnt that be nice! But this morning I got up and thought, well girl, its up to you to get on with it, so Im going to try today and then tomorrow.
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