I can't say if I was ever an alcoholic per se but I was a damn good binge drinker and that's when I did stupid things. The only way for me to be in control is to not have mind altering things in me. So I quit drinking and I quit doing dumb things.
There was no root to my evil. Just bored and lacked judgement. I don't need to find an excuse as to why I did things.......I did them, I owned up to them, I made amends and now I live for today.
If you have to have a reason just look in the mirror.
Best of luck.