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Great topic.
It reminded me that after I had been going to Al Anon for maybe 6 months I noticed my 'control tatics' had changed.
Pre Al Anon, I'd ask my xA things like 'When was the last time you spoke to your sponsor?' This was my way of checking up on him of course.
But then I changed my tatics so rather than ask the obvious I'd casual say, 'So how's that sponsor of yours?' Lol.
Different approach BUT SAME INTENTION = control him.
It was awful to realise it. Lol.
My own denial astounds me sometimes.
And if my memory serves me correctly, my approach after that when I felt like checking up on him was to leave the room or go sit in the bathroom, just put a bit of distance between us, and wait for 'the need to know' to pass.
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