[Sugah]

Yes. As you read the first edition (and every other edition) of the Big Book, you'll see Bill was asked, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?" That question made the program of AA possible for me. I don't personify my HP (except when I need to for my own comfort, and very often then, I don't personify my HP as He), and with some acceptance and open-mindedness on my part, I've been able to get past those parts of the Big Book where a HP is personified. Remember that when AA came to be, and the culture in which it came to be, it was difficult for the founding members to imagine anything but a patriarchal personified personal deity. I don't believe that it was done in order to keep folks like you and me out.

AW gives you a good suggestion. That same suggestion was given to me when I was twenty years old. Fourteen years later, I was finally desperate enough to get sober that I was able to put it into practice.

Also remember that when the Buddhist monks examined the steps, they heartily approved. It was suggested that perhaps Good could be substituted for God, but other than that, they thought they were just fine. Buddhism, like the program of AA, is a spiritual way of living rather than a religion.

Glad you're ready for another try, John. Welcome back.

Peace & Love,
Sugah