[Ago]

Taz,

you make me Lol

yes, I have cringed when Sponsees share, I have cringed when they raise their hand, and I have always been delighted when 99.99% of the time it's a good share.

I had a sponsee share once at a "nooner", it was a big meeting and everyone knew I was his sponsor, and he looks relaxed, he's got this big grin, he raises his hand, get's called on, then he shares he just stopped at a "massage parlor" on his way to the meeting, and how relaxed he was, and "how good it was for his sobriety" and how his sponsor told him it was OK, because "no new relationships in your first year" was the rule, so he figured "getting his needs met" at a "massage parlor" was OK according to his sponsor, so he shared what a great guy I was, and recommended to the men in early sobriety that they try it (go to a massage parlor) when they got stressed out.

I don't know if my face has ever been so red in my life.

strictly speaking he was right, but OMFG

I handle sponsees and sharing the way it was handled with me, except I was literally grabbed by the ear mid share and dragged out of the room 10-15 times in early sobriety by my Grandsponsor, who literally got sober in WWII.

Socratic questioning.

Can you teach these people how to drink?
Theres some people in there with 20-30 years, can you teach them how to stay sober?

If not I may want to consider shutting my F'ing mouth

I was told to STFU until I :

A) worked the twelve steps
B) had a year of sobriety
C) was thirty years old
(I was in my mid/late twenties when I got sober)

That was clearly unrealistic, so I modified that a bit for my sponsees, and just made some "suggestions"

A) are you asking for help?
B) are you offering "solution" to a specific problem? and sharing your "specific" experience strength and hope with a specific situation?
C) have you finished your steps?
D) are you offering specific experience with a step?

or are you sharing your "vast wisdom" and "talking out of your a$$" ?

I think the only "specific" "rule" or "strong suggestion" I really lay down is I never ever ever want to ever hear them begin a share with: well I don't have any experience with this but: begin off topic monologue

I also point out to them that when I "pontificated" and shared my vast wisdom in early sobriety, all I was doing was being an example of "how not to do it" and proving that old adage "it's better to sit and be quiet and have people think you are a fool, then open your mouth and remove all doubt" and make no mistake, when I shot my mouth off in early sobriety I was proving beyond the shadow of a doubt to the whole room my stupidity, which I did frequently, then, yet again, out would shoot Irv's hand, grab my ear, out in the courtyard for another a$$chew.

God he was a terrifying man.

Anyhow, I think you handled it perfectly, by using Socratic questioning and sharing my own experience as a complete moron, of which I have more then ample examples, I can usually guide my sponsees to a certain extent in what "sharing" really means, and what it's for, and how to "do it" properly, then it's out of my hands, and I need to just "let go".

This whole process is just yet another way sponsees "add" to my life by teaching me about myself, you know? and the thing is, it's relatively painless.