First - yes, it will get better.
Second, I can relate to all your conditions, as well as remembering what it was like when my children were small (I just took my youngest son to vote the first time today).
Third - the problem with using opiates to treat chronic pain conditions is that we build a tolerance to them, and the "relief" we get from them decreases over time. We need more and more to get the same relief until, finally, we're not getting even that relief - but we need to take them to stay "well" in other ways.
I have several suggestions for you, and they're not necessarily in order.
- Be honest with your doctor. For RA & FMS, there are many non-narcotic treatments available.
- Anyone who "insists" she's going to be your sponsor is most likely not a good sponsor, and anyone who "insists" you stop taking all medications is dangerous. I'm sorry you had a bad experience in NA. If there's another meeting available, you might want to try that. I understand the issues of money/distance/children in recovery, but it can be done.
- Don't discount AA. Let me ask this: If you were to have a few in you and someone presented you with your "drug of choice," would you find it difficult to say no? I know many people who consider that to be their "powerless[ness] over alcohol."
There are many means of dealing with pain that have nothing to do with medication, but like someone starting an exercise program after years of sedentary life, it's challenging to get started. Slow and steady was the way for me. Some things that have helped me are meditation (including creative visualization and breathing exercises), yoga stretches, aroma therapy, music therapy, hot baths and showers, altering the way I sleep, and lowering my expectations. In that way, I've slowly increased my activities over time so that I now live as normal a life as anyone, and I often out-pace my younger counterparts -- all without medication.
Keep posting, cloes1. Others will be along soon.
Peace & Love,
Sugah