Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynay 
Here is what happened to me.... I always choose guys that were broken, wrong for me, Alcoholic, hard hearted.... you name it.... I have dated more losers then that weight loss program... but finally I got to the point that I was sooo fed up I had no choice but to figure out what was going wrong and the only common thread in the whole story was ... Me...
That is when I started to work on myself and stop looking for a partner to be with. I started to figure out what type of guy I really wanted... wrote out all the things that were important to me... all the personality traits, character traits... everything.....
Once I had my list I quickly realized that the type of man I was looking for might not be attracted to me because I had alot of work to do on my recovery and myself in general. I wanted a man that was able to have dreams and goals... but I did not have any of my own. I wanted a man with a career that he loved and was a hard worker.... so I realized that there was alot I could do for myself in that department and started looking at careers and not jobs... I started testing and becoming the professional women that would attract a professional man. I wanted a man that could understand my recovery and if not join me at least no think Im crazy.... So I worked my program harder ..... and then I did the most amazing thing.
I let go. I gave it to God and just kept the focus on myself...
. Work on the only thing you can... You, be the type of women that will attract the type of man you seek and then let go and let God.
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These are the things I found absolutely critical for me to look at, and those were the things that exactly matched my experience.
If any woman actually wanted to date me right now, I'd turn and run, because I have a ton of work to do on myself right now.
It's my experience, and I'm just speaking for me, but I always pick my "mirror", and so have my sponsees...and everyone I know....butttt......
what's the old saying, once is coincidence, twice is unlucky, three times means it's enemy action? Well I can and have been my own worse enemy.
I've actually already walked away from some "attention" without a second thought the last few days. The thought of being with someone intimately makes me nauseous, although I am very lonely and long for female contact.
I'm a walking "commercial" for red flags
newly broken up
in a temporary house (4 months left on lease)
no stable career at the moment
in my first year of sobriety
hey, two months ago you could have added jobless and homeless to that list, I am actually happy where I am right now in life, in order for me to escape my situation I needed to "go", and "go now", I probably wouldn't have picked it say, as a child, but I didn't really plan on growing up and being an alcoholic either.
I had to do what I had to do, and "you can't save your a$$ and your face at the same time, so.....I made a decision, and I aint Muhammad Ali (he always went on about how pretty his face was)
So, for me, it's back to the grindstone, back through the steps, learn the lessons the last few years have brought me, and when I'm ready, not when I think I'm ready, but when I'm ready for real to have a relationship, ready internally, I have no doubt in my mind that that "special someone" will be standing in front of me smiling at me.