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my experience matches Cynay's to a tee
being sober, when I did my steps I found out I wasn't "manager material" and pretty much the three most dangerous words I can say are "I was thinking"
If I have a good idea, I'd better call my sponsor, if I have a "great" idea, I'd better drive straight to his house.
This especially applies to my relationship history, if "I pick them" or "go looking" it's a disaster
If I do the next right thing, clean house, and trust God, it's just like "when the student is ready, the master appears, but with loooove, that has been my experience.
I was in a long term relationship in sobriety, and I just ended up having to move away so we parted ways, she is by far my best friend today.
After I moved, things got "very uncomfortable" so I ran out and got in a relationship to "fill that hole" or avoid my feelings, or whatever, I got in a relationship because I was lonely...I got in a relationship for the same reason I drank, to "change the way I feel"
Also, I need to be careful what I wish for, after I parted ways with my ex, I said only half way joking, OK God, enough with all this emotional stability crap, I want hot sex and drama
I'd like to personally say thank you God for...umm...listening to me and proving beyond a shadow of a doubt I don't know what's best for me.
/mutter mumble gnashes teeth
probably be years of step work and therapy now before I'll be ready to date again
that's humor...but...maybe not.../sigh
I found getting commitments as things as a "greeter" or even secretary helped get me out of my head as well as brought me into contact with men and women both ...you can't be shy and be a greeter you know? doing some "visible" commitments where I had to interact helped me immensly.
Good luck
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