I'm not sure if it helps you, but "acceptance" helps me when I find myself in situations I can't control.
From page 417 in the 4th ed Big Book:
Quote:
|
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
|
It's not that what they're doing isn't wrong. They could be totally wrong. But I have to let go of changing them or hoping they will change. The only thing I have control over is changing myself and hopefully growing in more healthy ways.
So it's ok to be "powerless" over other people. They are who they are ... and I am who I am. I have power over how I respond. I have no power over them.
Going to a meeting, calling another alcoholic, or talking to my sponsor is a good place to start if I'm unsure what to do about it. The serenity prayer helps too ...
"Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference"
I hope you feel better soon ...